Katy Hutchison

For Restorative Justice Week in November 2003, we at the Centre, in partnership with many community groups from Burnaby, were fortunate to sponsor Katy Hutchison as a speaker.  Meeting and working with Katy has been a highlight of this year.  Katy speaks around British Columbia, telling the story of her healing response to the tragic murder of her husband, Bob McIntosh in late 1997.  She also includes in her telling a cautionary tale of group synergy ‘gone bad’, which can happen when large groups congregate with alcohol and drugs.  It is an important message for our teens and adults alike.

Katy has responded to tragedy with courage and insight borne of a desire to move forward with healing and compassion.  Her story is compelling, demonstrating clearly some of the values and beliefs that are important when living restoratively. We are grateful to her for sharing her story so selflessly, and to the Vancouver Courier for allowing us to ‘reprint’ it here. 

For further information about Katy’s schedule, consult her website at www.katyhutchisonpresents.com.  You may contact Katy directly at katy@katyhutchisonpresents.com.

The story of Bob

Naoibh O'Connor - The Vancouver Courier

Late in the evening of June 20, 2002, Katy Hutchison answered the phone in her Victoria home. On the line was a Squamish RCMP officer, asking if she would be willing to be picked up first thing the next morning.

He wanted her to meet Ryan Aldridge, the man who, hours earlier, had been arrested in connection with the 1997 death of Hutchison's then husband, Bob McIntosh. Though she had been warned the arrest was imminent, the result of a lengthy undercover operation, the request came as a shock.

McIntosh had died following an alcohol-fuelled attack by two young men after he went to check on a rowdy New Year's Eve party in Squamish, in the home of a friend who was on vacation. He was punched by Ryan MacMillan, who eventually pleaded guilty to assault and landed a three-year conditional discharge, meaning his record will be expunged if he stays out of trouble.

After McIntosh fell to the ground, Aldridge kicked him in the head several times. One of the blows severed an artery in the back of the 40-year-old lawyer's head. McIntosh was rushed to hospital, but pronounced dead almost immediately.

Now, five years later, the case was finally being resolved. The evening of his arrest, Aldridge watched a videotape where Hutchison pleaded that he admit to himself what he'd done. Afterwards, he broke down and asked to see her in person. The RCMP were prepared to oblige-it was an opportunity to gather further evidence against him, since the meeting would be videotaped.

Once the surprise wore off, Hutchison was also game for the encounter.

The following morning, she dropped her twins, Emma and Sam, at her brother's place-Michael Hutchison, her current husband, was on a fishing trip-and made her way to the airport where a helicopter was waiting.

At the Squamish RCMP detachment, she was led to a tiny room. Minutes later, Aldridge walked in. "It was all I could to not to give him a hug," she remembers. "He sat down across from me, distraught. He started to cry as soon as he got in the room. I said, 'It's going to be OK.' I was just handing him balls of Kleenex."

Hutchison wasn't concerned about getting a confession on tape-her goal was to impress upon him the importance of a guilty plea. "I was afraid of what a trial would be like for Emma and Sam," she says. In fact, by the time she arrived, he'd already written letters of apology to both her and the children.

After 20 minutes, the police removed Hutchison who, as she walked past the room where officers gathered to watch the pair on screen, noticed Aldridge was still being filmed. "He was sobbing by himself in the room," she says. "I didn't want him to be alone. I wanted someone to be there with him. That's when I lost it-I became totally unglued."

Five months later, Aldridge pleaded guilty to manslaughter and was handed a five-year sentence. The 25-year-old is currently imprisoned at Matsqui Institution in Abbotsford, a medium security facility.

That initial encounter only bolstered Hutchison's determination to prevent other youths from following Aldridge's path. Impressing the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse and other reckless behaviour upon students and parents alike has become a mission of sorts for the 42-year-old, who's put together a power-point presentation called The Story of Bob.

On Nov. 17, she'll kick off National Drug and Alcohol Awareness Week at Magee Secondary by speaking at a parents evening. She'll also talk to students at three West Side high schools.

One day, Hutchison hopes Aldridge, who "respectfully declined" to be interviewed for this article, will join her at such events-a possibility she raised in late October when the two met for the second time. It was a five-hour, often emotional visit-part of the restorative justice process, where victim and perpetrator meet face to face to talk about the crime and its effects. It's a process Hutchison embraces, along with the opportunity to speak directly to teens. "You can't have this given to you and not try to find some use for it. The desire to do it is because I love my kids so much and I don't want to see them or anyone else in this position."

In the cozy kitchen of their Victoria home, Hutchison and her 10-year-old daughter Emma roll out dough for gingerbread cookies to be baked for the following week's school lunches.

While they work, Hutchison, a stylish and youthful-looking blond, recites her family's story patiently, something she's done in countless interviews over the past six years. She doesn't mind the media attention. "I knew from the start that this was a story full of life lessons."

Bob and Katy met in 1986, the night before he graduated from UBC's law school. Katy was a business administration graduate working as an operations manager for a ladies apparel manufacturer. They married in 1988.

The pair spent weekends skiing in Whistler, sleeping on friends' floors. When they decided to buy a house, Vancouver prices proved too steep. Squamish was an affordable alternative, plus it fit Bob's outdoorsy lifestyle and reminded him of Lynn Valley, where he grew up. Prior to the 1989 move, they agreed to commute to the city for work, but when Bob was finalizing the paperwork for the house, the local law firm offered him a job. Katy stopped commuting soon afterwards, following a skiing accident. She landed a job with Community Futures, the local economic development office. After struggling with infertility for a few years, the couple conceived Emma and Sam through in vitro fertilization. The twins were born in 1993. "It was amazing, it was such a cool time in our lives," Hutchison says. When the kids were 18 months old, she returned to Community Futures part time and worked as a sessional instructor at Capilano College. Bob spent his spare time training as an elite triathlete and focused on personal injury law, ironically specializing in head injuries.

On the evening of his death, friends from Tsawwassen were visiting. After the kids were in bed, another couple from Squamish joined the group, informing them a party was going on down the street at the home of Dr. Richard Cudmore, a friend of the McIntoshs who was out of the country. Bob phoned to speak with Cudmore's then 19-year-old son Jamie-now a rugby player for Canada's national team-but he wasn't there. The three men decided to walk over, with Bob grabbing a beer to try and blend in with the partying teens. They were separated almost immediately.

Within minutes of arriving, Bob was lying on the floor, blue and lifeless. An ambulance was called, while an RCMP cruiser sped Katy to the hospital. When she arrived, a doctor, another family friend, was trying unsuccessfully to revive her husband. The only outward signs of trauma was a bruise on Bob's temple and cut on his hand, but it wasn't long before Katy was told he'd died. "All I could think of was I have to go home and tell my kids."

According to Hutchison, a lethal combination of unruly teens and excessive, underage drinking at an unchaperoned party set the stage for Bob's death. Where were their parents and why didn't any of the teens have the courage to call for help when it became clear the evening was getting out of hand? she wonders. Early on, small fights had broken out and some partiers had been sick from drinking. Even the host had abandoned the New Year's Eve bash for another one elsewhere. In hindsight, Hutchison also feels it was a mistake for Bob to wade into the fray-he should have called 911, considering the number of drunken revelers packed into the home.

For Hutchison, the circumstances surrounding his death offer a host of lessons, all of which she's taken to heart. Parents, she insists, should always know where their kids are and who they're with and check on them periodically. Adults shouldn't endorse underage drinking, or leave their kids home alone. Planned parties for teenagers should include a guest list, start and end times and a strategy about what to do with unwanted guests. Teens should also be told not to pressure their friends into having get-togethers if they're left without supervision.

"It's not necessarily your kids, but unwanted kids that can cause the problems. It doesn't matter how on-the-ball a kid is, there are some so off-the-ball they can take others down with them," she says. "I'm not going to come out with a solution, but [Bob's] story reminds us of our more basic responsibilities as parents, how quickly things can go badly and the ramifications for kids."

In his third-storey office at West Boulevard and 43rd Avenue, Brian Hall-Stevenson is keenly aware of how alcohol and drugs can cause teens' lives to spiral out of control. The addiction prevention specialist for the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority is organizing Hutchison's visit to Vancouver to help illustrate the point. The talk will address alcohol and other drugs, peer pressure and bad decision-making.

Representatives of From Grief to Action, a group working to improve the lives of drug users, their families and friends, along with Parents Together, a support group for troubled teens, will be on hand for a panel discussion following Hutchison's presentation.

Parents, Hall-Stevenson suspects, often ignore early-warning signs that their kids are on the wrong track. Newspaper headlines focusing almost exclusively on the dangers of hard-core drugs like crystal meth, heroin and cocaine don't help, since the vast majority of teens are more likely experimenting with alcohol, cigarettes and marijuana. The age of first use of drugs and alcohol is dropping sharply-it used to be during the latter high school years or university, but now can be as young as 10.

"If your 12-year-old is smoking cigarettes, your kid is starting to medicate his life needs with drugs," Hall-Stevenson argues. "Don't wait until crystal meth or heroin is on the scene to get excited."

Studies indicate most addicts start using by age 16. One in four teens binges on occasion-throwing back five to 20 drinks per sitting. By Grade 8, almost 52 per cent have at least tried alcohol, a figure that jumps to 71 per cent in Grade 10 and 80 per cent in Grade 12, according to a 2000 study by the University of Michigan. The figure for pot use climbs from 20 to 40 to close to 48 per cent during the same period-which far exceeds cocaine and heroin use.

Hall-Stevenson sympathizes with parents dealing with peer pressure, advertising campaigns targeted at youth, and a drug-dependent culture, but insists they can have a significant influence on their children's choices, especially at a young age. He maintains kids should be taught early on how to deal with anxiety, low-self esteem and other problems without the use of intoxicants. "Keep relationships close and loving as long as you can," he says.

Parents should also model good behaviour by dealing with their own problems responsibly and without drugs, to reduce the chances kids will fall into bad habits during their more vulnerable years. "If you get a 19-year-old who doesn't smoke tobacco, there's a snowball's chance in hell that they'll start."

Peter Hotston, now principal at Howe Sound Secondary in Squamish, was vice principal at the time of McIntosh's death. He knew the couple well, along with some of the students who attended the party, including MacMillan and Cudmore.

Many of the teens causing problems in those days were drop-outs or doing poorly in school, he says, adding that the much-publicized "code of silence" that kept the case in limbo for years likely stemmed from overwhelming peer pressure. "For whatever reason, the group was so much more important to them than anything else that it became their morality. In their eyes, they saw it as the right thing to do-not to squeal or snitch or rat on their group."

Hotston maintains the problem of out-of-control youths is a complex one, created in part by a more materialistic, permissive culture, in which both parents are working long hours. "It's more than just schools can cope with or even parents. At some stage, it's going to take a societal shift in what we value as important." Getting to kids when they're young is key, he says, since the older they are, the more likely they are to have been influenced by friends, music, television and inappropriate web sites.

Hotston emphasizes, however, that troublemakers are in the minority-most teens never get into trouble, and only five to seven per cent become a chronic problem. "It's wrong not to listen to bad news and to be defensive but I don't think Squamish is worse than anywhere else."

The town, however, has endured no shortage of bad press in the years since McIntosh's death. In 1998, a gang of youths attacked 16 mostly Filipino young people in a campground at Cat Lake.

Two years later, one car was torched and two more vandalized in Squamish after 30 to 100 youths "ran amok," according to news reports. Then, this summer, campers were terrorized by youths in two separate incidents. In one case, youths stole a car and drove it recklessly through a campground, while in another, three American tourists were attacked.

In response, the town organized an anti-crime forum this summer, where some teens complained the problem was that there was nothing to do in Squamish.

From his prison cell, Aldridge wrote a letter to the editor that was published in The Chief, Squamish's newspaper, Aug. 15. It was addressed to the youth of the town, and warned about the dangers of following in his path.

He admitted to being bored while growing up in the small town, but argued in retrospect, there was a lot to do. He wished he'd become more involved in outdoor pursuits such as soccer, football, fishing and hiking rather than drinking and partying.

Incarceration, he said, has put his life into perspective. "Some of you might think it is fun drinking and driving, harassing campers and attacking tourists; someone could get tragically hurt and there will be consequences," he wrote. "After being sentenced, you will go to jail and if you bring that punk attitude in here, you won't last a day!"

Aldridge warned readers that one tragic incident could change their lives forever. "My poor actions have impacted so many lives. I have to deal with the guilt every day for the rest of my life-because of my stupidity a life was taken. I don't want to see any of you making the same mistake. Squamish is a great place to grow up in, please don't ruin it for those who live there."

In Victoria, Hutchison is determined to set her own kids on the right path. Both attend private school and spend weekends participating in extracurricular activities.

Sam, a natural athlete like his father, plays soccer and hockey, while Emma, who takes after her mother's interests, paints. The blond-haired twins call Katy's new husband, Michael Hutchison, Dad and use his last name.

The couple tries to be strict, but loving parents. There are house rules: no television during the week, no Play Station and restricted Internet use. More than one of Sam's CDs has been trashed for inappropriate content. "Bob used to say we should raise our kids with an iron fist in a velvet glove," Hutchison says. "It's all about boundaries and expectations and consequences."

As for Aldridge, he's become like an honorary member of the family. Michael Hutchison teasingly calls him his wife's third child and his name pops up at odd times-during dinner, Emma has been known to wonder aloud what Ryan is eating.

Hutchison is often asked about her feelings towards Aldridge. "I have forgiven him, although I was never angry to begin with," she says. "All along, I've been much more concerned with the root causes of the behaviour rather than the behaviour itself." In a way, she says, her lack of rancour towards Aldridge has forced him to confront his actions, rather than simply becoming d efensive.

Her wish is simple: that he's learned from his mistakes and will live a productive life when he gets out of jail. "I'm not a poster person for an ultra-liberal point of view about the justice system, but in this particular situation, with this particular person, I have this view."

Aldridge is "doing everything right" at Matsqui, according to Hutchison-he's keeping a low profile, works out, has signed up for a few courses and appreciates his family more. Although he can apply for day parole in February, she doubts he will. "He's having a hard time accepting [that I forgive him], so until he does that and forgives himself, it's pretty hard for him to move on."

He also finds Emma and Sam "a tough part of the puzzle," says Hutchison, who also expects to meet Ryan MacMillan in the next couple of years-part of his sentence requires him to take part in the restorative justice process.

Although talking about Bob and the case is easy for Hutchison, not everything is-New Year's Eve, the whole month of January and even snowy climates spark tearful memories. When the moving men took training wheels off Sam's bike, Hutchison remembers thinking, "The wrong person's doing it."

Despite the thread of sadness that remains with the family, the scene back in the kitchen seems straight out of an American TV show pushing family values. Emma and her mother use flower-shaped cookie cutters to mark the dough for the gingerbread. When Sam makes an entrance, he's told to finish working on his language arts project before it's time to head out to soccer practice. He grudgingly retreats to another room, while Michael Hutchison steps in to say goodbye on his way to work. "Take an apple," his wife hollers, as he walks out the door.

The free presentation is set for 7 to 9 p.m. Nov. 17 in the Magee Secondary School auditorium at 1975 West 49th Ave.