The Possible Benefits of Forgetting Your Co-Worker's Name

This blog post was originally published by Eric Cai on March 16th, 2018 on his blog called The Chemical Statistician.

Meeting new people is a constant part of life, whether it is through new jobs, social occasions, or networking events.  The first task in establishing rapport with a new acquaintance is to learn their name, yet I sometimes forget it after our first conversation.

Forgetting new names is very common and forgivable, especially if you are meeting many new people at once.  However, I notice that most people are afraid to admit their forgetfulness.  Perhaps they are embarrassed or worried that their new acquaintances will feel offended.  Thus, they often greet them many times without referencing their name, and this could continue for days, weeks, or even months!

If I forget a new acquaintance’s name, then I take the initiative to admit this when I next meet them, and I ask for their name again.  Throughout my professional career, I have never encountered anybody who felt insulted or disrespected as a result of such forgetfulness.  Instead, they usually show kindness and appreciation for my effort.  I sometimes have to do this many times before I remember a new co-worker’s name, and I sometimes confuse them with another co-worker with a similar appearance.  However, admitting my forgetfulness and asking for their name again helps me to remember their name better.  The first part is just as important as the second; admitting my failure is not only an act of accountability, but also a useful device for learning something new.

In addition to the practical benefit of remembering a new name, I find this practice to be helpful in establishing a positive relationship with a new colleague.  Because I am making the effort to remember a fundamental trait of this person, they recognize my sincerity in respecting them and understanding them.  This is, of course, only the first step and a very small one, but it creates good momentum, and I can build upon this momentum in subsequent interactions.

If you have faced this problem, then I hope that my experience can provide some assurance to you: Forgetting a new name is not an awful fault.  Instead of ignoring the problem, just admit it, ask for their name again, and you will likely be able to flip the situation into something positive.

Image Credit:  rawpixel.com on Pexels

Eric Cai works as a Data Science Consultant at Environics Analytics, a marketing-analytics company in Toronto.  He previously worked as a statistician at the Bank of Montreal, the British Columbia Cancer Agency, the British Columbia Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS, and Predicum.  In his spare time, he writes a blog called The Chemical Statistician, posts video tutorials on statistics and chemistry on YouTube, and hosts a talk show on math, science, and economics called The Central Equilibrium.  He has written many advice articles on career development on his blog, the most popular article being “How to Find a Job in Statistics – Advice for Students and New Graduates”.  He earned his Master of Science degree in statistics from the University of Toronto, and he earned his Bachelor of Science degree with a major in chemistry and a minor in math from Simon Fraser University.

Beyond the Article:   

• Check out Eric's blog called The Chemical Statistician, and look through his other pieces on the OLC.
• Read Haley's piece on feeling inadequate in the workplace.
• Book an appointment with SFU Career and Volunteer Services to learn more about your career opportunities.