- Home
- Networks
- Topics
- Blogs
- Co-op Blogs
- Arts and Social Sciences Co-op Blog
- Beedie School of Business Co-op Blog
- Biomedical Physiology & Kinesiology Co-op Blog
- Communication Co-op Blog
- Computing Science Co-op Blog
- Contemporary Arts Co-op Blog
- Engineering Co-op Blog
- Environment Co-op Blog
- Health Sciences Co-op Blog
- Interactive Arts & Technology Co-op Blog
- MSE Co-op Blog
- Science Co-op Blog
- Sustainable Energy Engineering Co-op Blog
- Communique
- ENGAGE
- Peer Education
- Co-op Blogs
- Galleries
- Learn
- Indigenous
- EAL/ESL
- iBelong
My Boss Hates Me and I Can’t Do Anything Right: Common Thinking Traps and How to Avoid Them
My Boss Hates Me and I Can’t Do Anything Right: Common Thinking Traps and How to Avoid Them
By: Michelle Burtnyk | Health Promotion Specialist
At school and on the job, there will always be times when things don’t go exactly how you’d like them to – you slip-up in a big presentation, don’t do as well as you thought you would on an exam, or miss an important deadline. So how do you react? If you have a tendency to focus on the negatives, how you interpret situations can get distorted, and lead you to feel worse, and more stressed out. You are also more likely to respond to the situation in ways that are unhelpful in the long term.
We’re not suggesting you always view situations positively – bad things happen and a negative reaction is normal – but we are suggesting that having a more balanced way of looking at life can help you deal with difficult situations and avoid stress, anger, and other negative feelings and reactions.
Thinking Traps … And how to avoid them
Thinking traps are unbalanced, distorted patterns of thinking we can all fall into. The first step in avoiding these traps is recognizing them. Have a look and see what common thinking traps you fall into:
- Black and white thinking: Seeing things as either right or wrong, good or bad, perfect or terrible. People who think in black and white terms see small mistakes as total failures (ex. If you are trying to eat more healthfully and have a piece of chocolate, you see your healthy eating plan as a total failure)
- Overgeneralizing: Thinking one negative situation is part of a never-ending cycle of negative situations (ex. If you make a small mistake at work, thinking, “I never do anything right – I’m a terrible employee”)
- Mind Reading: Jumping to conclusions about what others are thinking, without any evidence (ex. If you pass your boss in the hallway and they don’t say Hi, you think they do not like you. In reality, they just might not have seen you)
- Fortune Telling: Predicting that something bad will happen, without any evidence (ex. Before a big presentation, predicting that you are going to make a major blunder).
- ‘Should’ Statements: Telling yourself how you ‘should’ or ‘must’ act (ex. if you have an unrealistic amount of work to do, telling yourself you ‘must’ get it done by a certain time).
Do any of these sound familiar? Once you’ve recognized the thinking trap, the next step is to challenge that trap. One way to do that is to try to find evidence against that thought – for example, if you over-generalize one mistake at work and equate that with thinking you never do anything right, look for evidence against that thought – try to think of things you have done right. If you are fortune telling something bad will happen, challenge that prediction – what evidence is there for thinking that way?
Here’s your challenge:
Over the next week or two, listen to your own thoughts, and try to identify and challenge any thinking traps you find yourself falling into. Many people find their mood and confidence to face difficult situations improves after they become more conscious of what they’re telling themselves.
Beyond the Article
Counselling Services at SFU: Health and Counselling Services offers free and confidential counselling to all registered SFU students, at all three campuses. If you are dealing with troubling or negative thoughts and would like to speak to a counsellor about it, don’t hesitate tomake an appointment now.
Posted on November 22, 2010
Tags:
- Login to post comments
- 12703 reads
RELATED TOPICS
|
|
|
|
|
|
SEARCH THE OLC
Login
OUR TWEETS
Today's Top
![]() |
Top Tip Lists BAKHTIAR’S DECLASSIFIED CO-OP SURVIVAL GUIDE [35] |
![]() |
Top Tip Lists Lost in Technical Translation: How to Succeed in an Unfamiliar Environment [31] |
![]() |
Top Tip Lists 8 Interview Tips For Impressing a Hiring Manager [31] |
![]() |
Career Peers Peeriodical: Transitions – A Starting Point [23] |
![]() |
Mental Health and Addictions Mental Health Wellness Tips for Quarantine [14] |
Indigenous SFU Community Stories SFPIRG: Truth-Telling and Decolonization [13] |
|
Interviews 10 Tips on Answering Interview Questions Effectively [10] |
|
Work Search Working with Grace: Top Tips for Pre-Screen Interview Success [9] |
|
Work Search Five Reasons Why Your Résumé Might Get Tossed Out (And other Résumé Don’ts) [8] |
|
Work Search Co-op How-to: International Self-Directed Work Search [7] |
[Blog] Life Experience Just Like Bunko: It's Not About You [1] |
|
[Story] Interviews Preparation = Successful Interview! [1] |
|
[Story] Interviews Acing Phone Interviews [1] |
|
[Story] Career Exploration We Are All Canucks: Dreams Come True [1] |
|
[Story] Interviews The Dirty Dozen Interview Questions (Part I) [1] |
7 seconds
From Forbes Magazine.
You have 7 seconds to make a first impression:
...
You're Welcome!
Just wanted to say a big "you're welcome!"
I think though, that we also owe you a big thank-you for all of your fantastic...
There but for the grace of
There but for the grace of God go I, reoccurs for me in periodically and I smile warmly and am grateful.
Thank you for your...
Uhoh, now you've sent us down
Uhoh, now you've sent us down a black hole of Youtube Conan clips......
Our failures define us
Conan's quote is incredibly profound..but not quite as profound as his "String Dance."