Back to TTM ResultsAs intimate relationships develop, people’s sense of identity may expand to include aspects of their partners’ identity, a process called inclusion of other in the self (e.g., Aron & Aron, 1996; Aron, Aron & Smollen, 1992). Over time, spouses begin to see themselves in ways similar to how they see their partner, and this may lead to a sense of shared identity that is reflected linguistically when couples use “we” and “us” rather than “I” to describe themselves and their relationship (Agnew et al., 1998). This shared sense of self in romantic relationships is associated with greater intimacy, relationship satisfaction concurrently and over time, and relationship stability (Agnew, Van Lange, Rusbult, & Langston, 1998; Aron et al., 1992; Tsapelas, Aron, & Orbuch, 2009).
Although the degree to which spouses include each others’ selves in their own identity is linked to relationship qualities, we have yet to learn how this happens. In other words, what is the path or the mechanism by which increases in shared identity lead to better relationship satisfaction? We proposed that one such path was through social support behaviours and perceptions in relationships. When couples have a greater sense of shared identity, they are better able to understand and predict their partners’ behaviour, hopes, and desires (Aron et al., 1992). Being able to predict and anticipate partners’ needs suggests that a sense of unity may improve provision of meaningful social support, which may in turn foster relationship satisfaction.
In marriage, spouses may be more likely to help partners if they view their partners’ concerns and problems as their own, and spouses may be more willing to allocate resources to partners because what benefits the partner may benefit the self or the relationship (Aron, Aron, Tudor, & Nelson, 1991). Further, as spouses begin to incorporate aspects of their partners’ identity, experiences, values, and beliefs as their own, they could become better at reading their partners’ needs and desires for support. As spouses become more adept at anticipating their partners’ needs and desires for support, they may feel more competent in their role as support provider, more satisfied with the way their support interactions unfold, and as a result may feel more maritally satisfied.
We investigated these hypotheses in the Transition to Marriage Study with 172 couples who provided sufficient data over the first year of their marriage. Our results indicated that the extent to which couples developed identities that incorporated aspects of each other’s self, they were better able to anticipate each other’s support needs and to appreciate and accept support from their partner. In turn, more positive support perceptions were related to more satisfying relationships and, at least for wives’, to increases in relationship satisfaction over time.
Of note, a sense of shared identity continued to be directly associated with marital satisfaction concurrently for husbands and wives, and longitudinally for wives even when accounting for the role of positive support perceptions. This suggests that a sense of shared identity plays a robust role in the developing relationship of newlywed couples, and the facilitation of positive support perceptions is clearly not the only path by which a sense of shared identity affects the relationship. For example, other dyadic processes such as conflict resolution and problem solving may be more adaptive to the extent that couples have higher sense of shared identity.
A sense of shared identity may foster better functioning relationships through enhancing dyadic support processes and perceptions of support. Given that about 40% of Canadian and about 50% of American newlyweds will dissolve their marriages at some point (Stevenson & Wolfer, 2007), and that many couples remain in unhappy marriages (Heaton & Albrecht, 1991) understanding the processes that enhance relationships are critical to development of marital interventions. Our findings suggest that helping spouses to develop a strong, shared identity may be one way to facilitate successful dyadic processes and to maintain satisfaction over time.
Acknowledgments
An article based on these results is currently under review for publication. This research was funded by the Social Science and Humanities Research Council of Canada Grant 410-2005-0829 awarded to Rebecca J. Cobb. This paper was based in part on Amy Yew’s undergraduate research project. We would like to express our appreciation to Dr. Michael Schmitt and Dr. Steve Wright for their comments on this manuscript. We would also like to thank the dedicated research assistants in the Close Relationships Laboratory, and the couples who participated in this research.