Back to TTM ResultsAt each of the lab sessions, we asked spouses to discuss with their partners a couple of different things. In the first set of discussions, we asked each spouse to talk with their partner about something that was a recent worry or concern (something that was not a source of marital conflict). This allowed us to observe how spouses talked about a problem in their lives and how their partners responded. We are currently analyzing the videos to determine the nature and quality of support behaviors that spouses’ display in these discussions. Some of the behaviours that we code include whether partners’ offer emotional support (e.g., “I know it’s really hard for you to deal with losing your mother.”) or instrumental support (e.g., “Would it help if I cooked dinner more often?”). We are also coding instances where things do not go well for the couple during the discussion (e.g., “Would you just get over this issue already?” or “You just don’t understand me at all, and now I feel worse thanks to you.”). We hope that by understanding how spouses talk about worries and concerns, and how they respond to each others’ needs for support, that we will be better able to predict and to explain marital outcomes over time.
In the second set of discussions, we asked each spouse to discuss a time when they were hurt by their partner. We realize this was a difficult discussion for many of our couples, but hurt feelings are inevitable in relationships and if couples handle these incidents poorly, it could have negative effects on person and relationship health. We have also begun developing a coding system to analyze the positive behavior (e.g., "I feel like I can trust you again") and negative behaviour (e.g., “You were so inconsiderate; did you ever stop to think about my feelings for once?”) in these discussions. Ultimately, we hope to understand how empathy and forgiveness play a role in the success of relationships.