Wow. Stephen King trying to write a fantasy. That's like Britney Spears trying to rap, or Backstreet Boys trying to write a good song. It's just not going to happen A medicore fantasy would be the best of his ability, but of course there would be bloody killing. Basic fact of life: I don't like the author. I despise Stephen King, so if you love him, as in you would be offended if anything bad was said about your author, then I suggest stopping here. I mean, he's not even that good, and he's got all these terrible best selling novels, I'll just say that he struck it rich with the "thrills and chills" crowd that likes their children to read R.L. Stine. Nothing against those folks, but I just don't see the big deal about this guy. Hes no Ray Bradbury. He just cant reach into different genres. Here's the basic rundown:  
 
The Characters  
 
King Roland--a king that is basically like "I'll do whatever the evil wizard tells me to do." Typical moron in these types of novels, not very well developed in the time he is in the book, which is not really that much, but still...hes your typical king with a death wish.  
 
Peter--The ONLY well-developed character in the book. I hated his guts, of course (if he existed, I would. Unfortunatly, he has no guts to hate, so I guess it was a bad choice of words). Naturally, hes the good looking good guy that you know will always win at the end, but you just dont know how. The first son of King Rolands, hes destined to be the Prince, but of course the exact same evil plot to stop that from happening happens, just as in any copycat novel. Sigh.  
 
Thomas the choo choo train--Okay, just Thomas. I have to say I despised this character also. The second son of King Roland, hes always overlooked. Of course, with his birth, the Queen Sasha died, so the first thought is that he is the bad guy. Thats partially true, actually. Anyway, his tragic birth was made possible in part by the evil wizard, Flagg, giving Roland an overdose of crack. (Okay, maybe not crack, but the same kind of stuff. Green vodka. I dont know, but its probably illegal in all forty nine states. California is going to fall off and sink into the ocean, so Ill count them off now).  
 
The evil wizard Flagg--GASP! Your typical, demon wizard set to take over the world. Need I say more, because I dont really want to.  
 
Dennis the menace--also known as Dennis the Butler. He finds the dead body of a rat, and thats basically his huge involvement in the book. Unless you would rather me spoil the ending?  
 
The Plot  
 
Cough....cough....uh, let's see. A fat little king named King Roland was not a bad, dictator king, but a good hearted king. A good heart, we soon learn, does not help you much in life when you are trying to be the oh-so powerful king of this little land. His main advisor, whispering his every move into his ear, is a black cloaked wizard named Flagg who is sooo unsuspectable when he gives King Roland this green gunk and we later find out his wifes been killed by it. Such a nice guy. What an unpredictable plot. Yippie doo!  
Anyway, after deciding Thomas looked sexier than Peter, he decided to frame Peter for killing daddy. He shows Thomas an eyehole, where you can peek through the eyes of a dead dragons head, through the wall, to spy on dada. Anyway, after King Roland flashing the dragon while Thomas is looking through the eyehole, Thomas decides to go back (you horny man, you). Anyway, he sees Fragg giving Roland an evil drink, and Fragg devises a clever(?) plot...poison Roland and poison a rat with the same stuff (it makes smoke come out of your ears and it makes your body suddenly go up in a green fire, maybe youve heard of it. I heard listening to the Backstreet Boys may cause it). Anyway, put the dead rat in Peters room behind a bookshelf, and let Dennis find it.  
 
Typical, typical, typical. I do not like this plot. Do you? Getting bored yet?  
 
The Authors Writing Skills  
 
Lets just say that if you are looking for a corny piece of writing that would have gotten a C in sixth grade English class...then I highly recommend this book. I have nothing against King, I just think he shouldnt be selling these vulnerable pieces of cr@p that wont matter in three months, while these great writers never get their fair share of the pie. Its always like that isnt it? Even on Epinions, sometimes its one of the worst reviews ever...and its on the top of the list because  
 
a)People dont care  
 
b)(S)he got easy raters  
 
c)he got highly recommended by an advisor, or  
 
d)he is an advisor.  
 
Now, Im not giving out names, but I will say that I have read advisor opinions that arent worth cleaning the toilet with. Thats life, and as much as I hate it, its got to happen. How come the game Final Fantasy VIII sold millions of copies when its the most boring game Ive ever played, and Monster Rancher 2 pretty much barely made it past the price they paid to make it and its a wonderful game? How come Mystery Men basically bombed, when the terrible movie Scream 3 was a big hit?  
 
Its just an unfair world out there isnt it, Charlie? Thats how it is with Stephen Kings writing ability. Hes got nothing, and yet every other book becomes a movie. Its not justice.  
 
Overall  
 
Just pass on this one. Im not sure if you liked Pet Cemetary or whatever, but just pass on this shallow plot, and go get The Doomsday Book by Connie Willis for a much better plot and writing talent 
