Poor Dr. Seuss. I'm not sure if he should be angrier at his widow for giving studios the rights to his stories, or to the studios for stabbing his widow in the back when she trusted them.  
 
When THE GRINCH was made, it was a fun movie that could have been pushed further. But it was fun. I understand that the widow has control over what is going on during the writing process. In THE GRINCH she exercised a lot of, but not enough, control. In THE CAT IN THE HAT, the producers and writers took the rights they had and ran with them, putting things in that the widow, let alone Dr. Seuss, didn't and wouldn't have endorsed. Whether you loved or hated THE GRINCH, it's the Sistine Chapel compared to this monstrosity.  
 
We have a cliched story. The little girl, Sally, is a control freak. Her brother, Conrad, seems to make it his life mission to get into trouble. The babysitter comes to watch the children, and she falls asleep. Enter the Cat. The movie, which starts out almost promisingly, loses its grip as soon as the Cat enters. Funny, but I thought for sure it should pick up there, if anything. All day, the cat insists on doing outlandish things with the children, such as making cupcakes out of, literally, everything, and using the sleeping babysitter as a raft while going down a water slide. A lame and cliched subplot, about the mother's boyfriend wanting to send Conrad to military school, also takes place.  
 
One sexual joke after another follows. The cat lands on a garden hoe and exclaims "You dirty ho! Oh, just kidding. I love you, baby!" When asked where he came from, the cat starts to explain "Well, when a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much..." The most appalling sexual joke is when the cat's hat stiffens, like an erection, when he's looking at a picture of the kids' mother and asks "Who is that?" It turns out the picture of her is constructed like a Playboy centerfold.  
 
And, of course, since Mike Meyers plays the Cat, it seems he is obligated to reference Austin Powers. Heck, the movie is one un-funny comedy sketch after another by Mike Meyers. To quote one critic, "It is difficult to tell who is less recognizable in this movie-- The Cat or Mike Meyers." I think the cat.  
 
A cute, innocent story (though some Freudians will argue that it's not such) was taken and butchered by writers who feel that the only way to make this story work is to appeal to the lowest common denominator. If that's the case, then why even make this movie? You wind up not disliking, but hating, all the characters in the movie. This movie is allegedly for kids, but I do not think it's suitable for most kids under 10. I know that, even at 11, I would have been disturbed by the sexual jokes in it, had I understood them.  
 
Hopefully, the silver lining around this mushroom cloud will be that kids have a new appreciation for the book and television special.  
