Synopsis: Sally and Conrad learn to set limits on their misadventure, with a little help from Dr Seuss' (Theodor S. Geisel) Cat in the Hat (1957). 

Analysis: There may not be many things that I'm sure of, but I do know a few for absolute certain. Leg-warmers will never make a come-back, DavidK93 IS gay, JackSommersby is NOT gay, and the world would be a much better place if every adult and child read (and understood) Dr. Seuss' books. In fact, referring to them as children's literature is a misnomer. There's not a single example of Seussian literature that fails to transcend any preconceived notion of what it means to be young, old or somewhere in the middle. All the Places You'll Go has helped through many a difficult transition. I've vowed never to live through a holiday season when I don't watch the animated How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966) at least a dozen times. I've even prepared green eggs and ham on a date (you could say that I ate them with a fox). So, yes, I always have been and forever will be a Dr. Suess fanatic. If he were still alive today, I might even have stalkerish tendencies. But this review isn't about my clearly irrational desire to live in the world of Dr. Suess, it's about how Bo Welch's (henceforth referred to as Bo Grinch) cinematic adaptation of Seuss' Cat in the Hat has robbed me of my childhood memories. 

I'll begin with the only element of Cat in the Hat that I found acceptable -- the Seussian visuals. Flip through any Seuss book and you'll find some of the most colorful, creative and inspiring illustrations that exist. Seuss never saw any reason not to redraw that which already exists, and neither did Bo Grinch. Through a nice combination of animation and set-design, Seussian architecture lives on. The design team had fun with the landscape, the houses, the trees, the cars, and everything under the sun (although, surprisingly, nothing above the sun). This creative re-engineering draws the viewer (or reader) into a parallel universe where age-old lessons can be taught or re-taught without the obstructions created in the minds of this one. Drawing things as they've never been drawn has also helped to maintain the timeless nature of Seuss' work, and avoids the pitfalls of stereotypes and geographic isolation. But this is where the film turns from Seussian into a a blueprint for disaster. 

The illustration is just one element in the greater scheme. To think of Dr. Seuss' work as mere pictures, rhymes and morals is to insult his legacy. Dr. Seuss was a creative visionary who never set any limits on imagination, and this is where Cat in the Hat fails to live-up to expectations. Bo Grinch has obviously lived inside a box for his entire life. He compromises on everything that made Dr. Seuss great in order to make a few (billion) bucks, and squanders every opportunity to build on greatness. I have no problem with people that value money above all else, but please limit your destruction to that which is yours. The rights to Seuss' words might be yours, but his legacy is not! He tries feebly to introduce new characters (Mr. Humberfloob, Quinn) and expand on old ones, but these fall far short of expectations. The liberties taken with the story mortalize a once timeless tale. 

The most difficult hurdle to overcome was turning a story that is slightly longer than this review into a 1 hour and 15 minute feature length film. This leads to Bo Grinch's biggest mistake, allowing Mike Myers to run willy-nilly through the minds and hearts of the audience in the guise of the Cat in the Hat. It seemed to me that Myers forgot that he isn't on Saturday Night Live, playing to a largely adult audience. I kept wondering when he was going to be verklempt, and half expected his coos of "Wowwoo!" to be followed by "Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent!" Indeed, Mike Myers recycled his entire CV of SNL characters to create a Cat in the Hat that is unworthy of his name. I've long admired Mike Myers, and appreciate much of his work. This simply wasn't the venue for him to enlist his own brand of creative devices. 

Sean Hayes shines through the rest of cast, but only in one of his roles. I found him entirely unconvincing as Mr. Humberfloob, the mother's slave-driving germaphobe of a boss. As the fish, he's wonderful. For a character whose sole purpose is to antagonize the Cat in the Hat, he is surprisingly tolerable. I think Alec Baldwin (Quinn) and Kelly Preston (Mom) do an adequate job, but I feel that their romantic relationship and the undercurrents of jealousy that come with it are entirely inappropriate for the story. Spencer Breslin (Conrad) and Dakota Fanning (Sally) are just children themselves, and can't be held responsible for the awkwardness that is brought about by Bo Grinch and his grinchy ways. (I also have to agree with flamepillar's assessment that the Things are unnecessarily creepy) 

It's the potty humor, though, that I find the most offensive. (Yes, I realize that I'm the same person who's always saying there isn't enough nudity, but even I ascribe to some sense of good taste) The references to a dirty hoe and a Playboy centerfold were entirely unnecessary. I realize that younger children might not get them, but then WHY include them? Adults have never found this necessary to enjoy Seuss' books; and spoiling the pristine, although sometimes misunderstood, image of the Cat in the Hat is a low blow -- even for Mike Myers. 

Final Comments: I've droned on for far too long about a film that can be summed up in one (of many) four letter words(s), Suck. Cat in the Hat is an abomination, which should be watched at the peril of your childhood. I never even got to see what it would be like to fly a kite in the house. I never got to see the Things bump the kites on the wall! 

And we did not like it. 
Not one little bit. 

I realize that I love to rant and rave, but here are a few well-respected concurring opinions: anderclayton, kristinafh, flamepillar. Ok, not everyone agrees with me: dragonfire88, Bruguru.

