If you've been alive for the last 15 years or so, you would have at some point encountered MC Hammer's smash hit single U Can't Touch This. Based upon the bass guitar riff from Superfreak, the jivey little number was a massive hit worldwide, and was once voted the greatest song of the 1980's. It appears to appeal to just about everybody: no matter which audience I play it to, it seems to go down well amongst everybody.  
 
Accompanying this ditty was the album Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em, in which MC Hammer takes a stand against all the issues of the day. Basically, this is the quintessential rap album of the age. In the liner notes, as with most of the disc, he rants about racial discrimination and a mixed bag of other capitalist society flaws.  
 
Even when the album gets cheesily bad, it's still fun in a very 80's way. You will find yourself grooving to songs you know you hate, just for the retro effect.  
 
In the fun little intro Here Comes The Hammer, he raps about the album you're about to experience in what is basically the bridge to U Can't Touch This. After that track comes the slow moving romantic number Have You Seen Her?, the only one of it's type on the album.  
 
Yo!! Sweetness with a rather redundant second exclamation mark, is a very beat-heavy (hell, the whole album is beat-heavy) track with men chanting about a sweetness across the room.  
 
On Your Face, Dancing Machine, Pray, Crime Story and Black Is Black are exactly the same: like Janet Jackson in Rhythm Nation 1814, MC Hammer complains about all the difficulties facing modern Western society, racial discrimination in particular, to way too many beats and fairly crappy lyrics. He even contributes a series of preachy poems to the booklet about these topics.  
 
Shes Soft And Wet and Work This are also the same: Theres a girl. Shes hot, eh? Yes, she is. She certaintly is. Let me explain why this is so.  
 
So, should you buy Please Hammer, Dont Hurt Em? While its one of the essential rap albums of the day, it comes across very dated and cheesy, so No. However, if you can get your hands on Please Hammer at garage sale prices, or a single of U Cant Touch This, make sure to pick it up: Cant Touch is a must-have for every music collection!  
 
- Dylan  
