TEXT AID:  AN ONLINE STUDENT COMPOSITION GUIDE

Author: John Whatley Ph.D., Department of English,  & Centre for Distance Education,  Simon Fraser University, (rev) 2004.

© No part of this document can be copied or distributed  in whole or in part without the expressed written consent by the author.  Feel free to link to this document,  but please let m  know through sending a description of your link  to the following email address:     whatley@sfu.ca


 

 

Introduction

 

Text Aid is meant to help your skill in university writing in the Arts or Humanities.  It is best used if you have a recently returned paper in front of you with your instructor’s comments included.  

 

This guide explains the glosses, corrections,  and symbols used by many instructors in university Arts and related programs today.  It allows quick access to the comments you have likely encountered; it is also designed to help you learn more about the craft of university level writing.  

 

It should help you with:

 

(1) Overall structures:  the design of your paper,  the development of themes and claims, the quality of your arguments,  strategies of persuasion,   introductions, transitions, and conclusions;    

(2) Usage:  the accurate and effective use of language, the development of a formal voice,   the use of specialized vocabularies or lexis with an emphasis on literary terms;

(3) Research:  the ways to support themes through secondary reading,     use of quotation,  and the effective integration of library research. 

 

Writing in at university is a pressured affair.  In my experience,  students often cannot find timely help with their writing problems.  They do not understand the often painstaking editing they receive on their papers.   It is my hope that by providing ready online advice in these areas,  your writing will improve and your instructor’s comments will not be wasted.

 

(click on the hyper link to receive guidance and some examples in the comment areas)

 

 

Formal

Structures

 

Formal

Usage

Research

Grammar & Punctuation

Support

analysis

coverage

expertise

 

coherence

 

logic

 

frame

how to quote

 

Over generalizing

 

transition

ambiguity

 

“I” pronoun

 

idiom

jargon

 

passive

constructions

 

redundant

shift

 

sf  sentence fragment

tone

 

use-age

use of terminology

ack- or source

acknow

-ledge your source  

 

biblio  

bibliography

 

doc

 

esources

 

q or quote

accuracy of quotation

 

agreement

antecedent

 

apos or poss

apostrophe

or possessive

 

cs

comma splice

 

// or fp

faulty parallelism

incomplete

 

p

 punctuation

(in quotations) preposition

run on

run on sentence

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mechanical Symbols

 

  • cap = use capital letter,
  • uc or lc = change to upper case or lower case respectively,
  • sp = spelling,
  • para/ no para, or No¶ = insert or remove a paragraph break,
  • und = underline,
  • word1 word 2 word 3 = delete word or words,
  • ^ = insert correction at this place


 

 

 

 

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FORMAL STRUCTURE coherence

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Coherence refers to the overall organization or pattern,  (or lack of it), of your paper.  The more careful you are about working out your paper's overall design,  the more paragraphs you can connect to it,  and the more you make your reader aware of this design,  the better your paper is likely to be.   It will be better because your reader is then able to follow your thought.

Here are some well-known simple patterns that can help give your paper coherence: 

 

  • Describe a problem and propose a solution; along the way show solutions that do not work, conclude with a summary of the reasons why yours is the best solution. 
  • Ask a question in your introduction,  answer it in the body of your paper, summarize both question and answer at the end, point to some interesting and related other questions in your last sentence.
  • Define a term or an important word found in a work;  or redefine a term that you have found being misused;

 

Here are a few more complex versions of coherence for research papers:

 

  • Propose a claim about a work and support or argue for it through wide illustration and instances drawn from the works you are studying;  mix a good amount of quotation from your primary text with comments that use the quotation to further your claim.  Include critical secondary works to show your position and how your claim is relevant.

 

  • Use an inductive pattern. Present a thesis or claim in the opening paragraph. Try for a wide number of instances, illustrations, supportive facts to prove or support it.  Keep the illustrations relevant;  try for as many instances as you can fit in your paper,  (the uses of a word,  repeated imagery,  verbal devices,  character traits,  gender markers, highlighted or unusual language).  Three instances for each part of your claim.

 

  • Use a deductive pattern. Deduction is the logical structure that derives a conclusion from prior premises.  Use the body of your paper to present and support or prove the propositions.  A logical dimension can be given if your make the topic sentences of paragraphs related to the premises;  these paragraphs are in turn related to the conclusion.  As in   “if  proposition A is true, and if proposition B is true, then (or therefore) conclusion C is true” ;   the “therefore”  or “thus” or “as a result” are given toward the end of the paper or in the concluding paragraph.

 

  • Prove another argument or reading wrong,  or partially wrong, through presenting evidence not found in the original argument;  compare and contrast arguments through quotation from other critics and perspectives.

 

Example:

Question and Answer

 

Title:  Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein:  Imagination or Subliminal Confession

 

Introductory paragraph

 

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is a novel that has acted as a nucleus for a minor cultural phenomenon.  It would be difficult to find a culturally connected person in the Western world who didn’t grow up at least hearing of this monster myth.  It is somewhat more challenging to find people who have actually read the novel.  As a result the monster somehow came to adopt and has maintained the name of the scientist.  A popular question, and one that Shelley attempted to answer herself fifteen years after writing the novel in her “Author’s Introduction” was how she came up with the idea for the novel. Her explanation, that she had had a vivid dream in which the characters were clearly presented to her, could be accepted as a valid source for the story; however, given that Mary’s personal life resembled a pathos filled novel, it is tempting to  delve into her subconscious as a compelling source for this tale.

 

This introduction has some strong overall cohesion markers—it asks a “popular question” and will seek in the course of the paper to answer it.  It also crticises an unsupported or “taken for granted” kind of answer and proposes another and better one:   “Mary’s personal life resembled a pathos filled novel”.  The position of the both question and claim make them the focus of the introduction, and they require that the claim be proven and the question about how the novel came into being answered in the course of the paper.  

 

Using such patterns will help structure your paper.  When a pattern like this is missing or not clearly marked then the paper becomes difficult to read,  it is digressive, or impressionistic,  or lacks focus.

 

 

SUPPORT analysis

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Most ways of organizing a paper, like problem-solution, argument--counter-argument,  questions--answers,  will require analysis.  In addition,  instructors will often ask you to support a theme through analysis of a section of a novel,  poem,  or other text. In order to make a supported claim you might need to show how a passage works.   Analysis can support your claim.  Analysis requires an impersonal stance;  it can be causal or structural (or  process)

 

Causal analysis gives evidence for why something is the way it is. This approach concentrates on finding and proving causes or reasons for a social practice, an outcome,  or an event, or it shows that a cause has a certain predictable effect. Race prejudice, for instance, could be found to be caused by a colonial past, or by perceived threats to economic status,  or imagined cultural differences.  Here is an interesting example of causal analysis from Marshall McLuhan,

 

As an extension of the foot, the stirrup enabled men to wear armor on horseback.  Man became a sort of tank.  But armor was expensive.  It required the work and skill of a craftsman for a year to turn out a full suit of armor.  The small farmer could not pay for such armor.  The result was a change in the entire landholding pattern.  The Feudal System was spurred into existence by the stirrup, the mere extension of the foot. (McLuhan, “The Role of New Media in Social Change,” in The Canadian Essay,  p. 115.)

 

In this causal analysis, we see that an invention that might at first be considered historically insignificant, the stirrup, eventually helped produce (McCluhan uses "enabled") a major change in social organization, the rise of the feudal system. Analysis of causal relations can often lead to surprises or the uncovering of hidden relations, but, even with as respected a theorist as McLuhan, we would have to ask whether this claim to have found a cause, was adequately supported.

 

Another main type of formal analysis is structural or process analysis; it tries to answer questions about how something works.  In the social sphere, we see it used by pioneer feminist Mary Wollstonecraft in Vindication of the Rights of Women (1792?) where gender conventions are made clear through “deconstructing” them so that we could see their constituent elements--education, a pattern in language, styles of dress and address, the law, and other dimensions of social life.  These were seen as determining (causing) a wider pattern of prejudice against women. Structural analysis can be used in a simple set of directions on how to build a model airplane or, at the other end of the scale,  in a voluminous study of a complex institution like kinship. 

 

 

SUPPORT coverage

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One of the requirements of effective argument is that you present enough evidence to make your claim credible.  Your evidence should be robust, relevant,  accurate,  well documented and current.    In student work,   coverage most likely rests on studies by experts or the research findings of authorities in a field  and are obtained through library research.  

 

Coverage is the backbone of any well constructed argument.  If you analyze most good academic writing you’ll find a convincing amount of illustration, factual studies,  data, quotation, or research.  Make sure your claim is adequately supported; if you are analyzing a character in a novel, for instance, make sure you have covered all of the important events affecting the character and the changes he or she might have gone through to support your claim.

 

A checklist for assessing coverage:

 

Coverage

  • Who or what have you included or excluded in the claim?
  • Is the sampling or evidence used to support a claim representative or is it too narrow? 
  • Are there too many “confounding instances” that could undermine the evidence?
  • How has your evidence been arrived at? What method was used to obtain it?
  • If an expert is used,  is the method and its evidence dated?

 

 

 

SUPPORT expertise

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As a student you are likely to turn to recognized experts for the factual evidence for a claim made in your paper. Keep in mind that experts should be relevant,  and their credentials current and acceptable;  they should also be accurately cited,  clearly documented using accepted guides like MLA or the APA style guides, and accurately paraphrased

 

Expertise

  • Are you making a claim that requires that you use an authority or expert ? 
  • Have you documented the material you’ve used?  Name of the expert,  title of work and its page number are usually required.
  • How do you let your reader know you are using an expert?
  • Is your quotation, paraphrase,  or summary of expert evidence accurate? 
  • Cam your reader find the material you’ve quoted or paraphrased through library research of their own, and could they evaluate whether it is in fact expertise, and whether it is relevant.
  • Has your cited material been decontextualized or is it an accurate reflection of the original?
  • Is there adequate representation of an opposing point(s) of view? Or could your opposing point of view be characterized as "a straw man"?

 

Your task in most essays or term papers is to answer questions of evidence through adequate library research and integration of it into your argument.  You should also show the status of your evidence through evaluation of expertise.  When appropriate show the past publishing of the experts you have used, or other indicators of their expertise like their institutional record. Your research should present the authority and the evidence for your claim through careful documentation and through careful assessment of the information provided by your experts.  Present the issue,  cite expertise,  show both sides,  evaluate the claims,  arrive at your own conclusion.  Do not get absorbed by your experts.

 

 

COHERENCE  tone

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One important aspect of tone is the overall set of elements in your writing style that define your attitude to your reader.  Generally,  the tone of an academic paper should be serious,  diligent,  impersonal, and research oriented, rather than personal,  humorous, uncaring or unconcerned.  You wish to write for effect—to persuade your reader to accept your claim.  Consistent tone then is important to this effect.

 

Often students abruptly change tone,  and often do not know they have done so. Note the following tonal shift—the effect of a sudden interposition of  familiar and everyday language.

 

Robert Burton’s The Anatomy of Melancholy,  (1628),  would among other things, place the mistakes of religion once and for all.  Burton is writing in the anxious period that would usher in the Interregnum—a time of sectarianism and religious excess that affected most levels of society.  But some of his language is totally crazy, totally uncool.  Lawyers,  for instance,  have become  “a general mischief in our times, an unsensible plague, and never so many of them ...thieves and seminaries of discord ... irreligious Harpies, griping catchpoles ... without art, without judgment” (4).

 

It is almost as if two different writers are active here.  Generally,  in academic prose,  keep your tone consistent.  This is not to say that juxtaposition of two styles could not be effective, but,  again, this should be under your control and should be part of the effect you wish. 

 

USAGE jargon

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Jargon refers to the unnecessary use of specialized terminology or the overuse of such terminology. Use  terminology carefully.   There is much value in using terms that are appropriate and well used.  The problem lies in how many terms and whether they are appropriate for your audience.

 

 

‘I” PRONOUN “I” pronoun

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The “I” pronoun  (and its complements in “me” “mine” or familiar uses of  “you,” “us” “they” and “we) is one of the primary signifiers of informal discourse and the familiar voice.  The use of the ‘I” pronoun  allows or invites opinion,  immediate responses,   personal insights, anecdotes, inclusion of family matters, or of individual experience or emotion.  Used extensively in a paper,  the “I” pronoun and its relatives mark a familiar essay.  Here is a good example from one of the masters of this type of essay:

 

[W1] When did we ever write so much as since the beginning of our Civil Wars?  And whenever did the Romans do so as just before their collapse? Each individual one of us contributes to the corrupting of our time:  some contribute treachery, others (since they are powerful) injustice, irreligion, tyranny, cupidity, cruelty:  the weaker ones like me contribute silliness, vanity and idleness.  When harmful things are compelling then, it seems, is the season for vain ones; in an age when so many behave wickedly it is almost praiseworthy merely to be useless.  I console myself with the thought that I shall be one of the last they will have to lay hands on.  While they are dealing with the more urgent cases I shall have time to improve, for to me it seems contrary to reason to punish minor offences while we are ravished by great ones. (Montaigne,  Essays,  Book 3, 1071)

 

Note the number of times Montaigne uses“I”  and how effective it is in the expression of a feeling—a kind of despair over the vanities and violence of his period.   This approach should however be used sparingly in academic prose. 

 

The object of formal academic writing is to convince your reader of a claim through evidence, argument,  precise methods and other means of disciplined and considered thought.  These require that you do not impose yourself or your personal experience unless it cannot be avoided.   The reason is that the level of the claims being made in the formal voice should go beyond individual and personal experience—they are general, not personal.  Here is a contrasting example of formal prose taken from Rachel Carson’s now classic green manifesto Silent Spring—note the paucity of the markers of the familiar voice:

 

The gypsy moth, a native of Europe, has been in the United States for nearly a hundred years.  In 1869 a French scientist, Leopold Trouvelot, accidentally allowed a few of these moths to escape from his laboratory in Medford, Massachusetts, where he was attempting to cross them with silkworms.  Little by little the gypsy moth has spread throughout New England.  The primary agent of its progressive spread is the wind; the larval, or caterpillar, stage is extremely light and can be carried to considerable heights and over great distances.  Another means is the shipment of plants carrying the egg masses, the form in which the species exists over winter. They gypsy moth, which in its larval stage attacks the foliage of oak trees, and a few other hardwoods for a few weeks each spring, now occurs in all the New England states. It also occurs sporadically in New Jersey, where it was introduced in 1911 on a shipment of spruce trees from Holland, and in Michigan where its method of entry is not known. The New England hurricane of 1938 carried it into Pennsylvania and New York, but the Adirondacks have generally served as a barrier to its westward advance, being forested with species not attractive to it. (142)

 

 

Opinion is indicated by “I think x is the case” not research.  One general rule of thumb:  in formal prose treat your reader carefully—if you overuse the “I” pronoun in a paper,  it will be received as it would in most face to face communication—you will be perceived as an egotist.

 

 

AGREEMENT: agr

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This mark refers to sentence elements that do not match in case, gender, number or tense.  It usually points to agreement between subjects and verbs (e.g. subject and verb (SV) agreement).  It is sometimes used with pronouns and their antecedents (antecedent).

Examples of Faulty Agreement

1. Each of the books have a certain flair.

The phrase "of the books" is plural but is not the subject of the sentence--"Each" is the singular subject.

Correction

Each of the books has a certain flair.

Examples of Faulty Antecedent

1. 0 Neither Bob nor Billy could find their key.

(Hard to tell whether their key refers back to Bob’s or Billy’s particular keys or to a key shared by both.)

Correction

Neither Bob nor Billy could find his key.

 

ANTECEDENT antecedent

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This mark refers to a sentence in which pronouns do not match the nouns they stand for.

Examples of Faulty Antecedent

1. 0 Neither Bob nor Billy could find their key.

(Hard to tell whether their key refers back to Bob’s or Billy’s particular keys or to a key shared by both.)

Correction

Neither Bob nor Billy could find his key.

 

INCOMPLETE inc

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This mark refers to sentences or clauses that have necessary elements missing. One of the usual problems is incomplete comparisons.

Example of incomplete Comparison

1.0 I think that Shakespeare's conceits are better.

( Hard to find who Shakespeare is being compared to.  Better than what? )

Correction

1. I think that Shakespeare's conceits are better than Ben Jonson's.

 

COMMA SPLICE: cs

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This comment can refer to a sentence in which a comma is used to join independent clauses not joined by one of the coordinating conjunctions.  Or it can refer to a sentence in which a comma is used to “splice” together independent clauses joined by a conjunctive adverb—a semicolon should have been used.

Example Comma Splice

1.0 It is clear that we understand each other, I am sure that we will get along.

(Two independent clauses should not be joined with a comma.  Use a coordinating conjunction,  a semicolon, or separate with a period.)

(Independent Clause: A clause is a group of words that contains both a subject and a predicate. An independent clause can stand on its own as a sentence.)

(Coordinating Conjunctions: and, but, or, nor, so, for, yet.)

Correction

1.1 It is clear that we understand each other and I am sure that we will get along.

Alternatives

1.2 It is clear that we understand each other; I am sure that we will get along.

1.3 It is clear that we understand each other. I am sure that we will get along.

Example (2)

2.0 The bin appeared empty, however there was one small apple remaining.

(A comma should not be used to connect two independent clauses joined by a conjunctive adverb like "however". Use a semicolon or a period between clauses.)

(Conjunctive Adverbs include: therefore, however, besides, consequently, furthermore, moreover, likewise, still, thus, nevertheless, as a result. There are many more conjunctive adverbs.)

Correction

2.1 The bin appeared empty; however, there was one small apple remaining.

2.2 The bin appeared empty. However, there was one small apple remaining.

Exception

Commas sometimes separate short independent clauses, in a series, when they are part of a rhetorical strategy.

e.g. I came, I saw, I conquered.

 

SENTENCE FRAGMENT: sf

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This comment refers to a sentence, which has necessary elements missing, (i.e. the subject, predicate or both).

Example Sentence Fragment

I did not go home. Because it was late and raining.

(The subordinate clause beginning with "because" has been separated from the independent clause with a period. Reconnect the sentence elements)

Correction

I did not go home because it was late and raining.

or

Because it was late and raining, I did not go home.

Example (2)

It was an amazing performance. One I will never forget.

(Noun clause beginning with "one" is not an independent clause.)

Correction

It was an amazing performance, one I will never forget.

Exception

"Will Pip win out in the end? No! Not if Compeyson has his way."

(Minor sentences or dependent clauses can sometimes stand on their own. These include: exclamations, imperatives, and proverbial expressions or aphorisms.)

 

SHIFT IN POINT OF VIEW shift

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This mark refers to an abrupt change in tense or pronoun usage; usually this creates a non-existent or ambiguous antecedent.

Example of Shift In Point of View

1.0 One is not sure of the wrong here, but you had better believe that there is one.

(The change from "one" to "you" shifts the direction abruptly and pointedly to the reader, rather than the more polite someone in general of “One”)

Correction

1.1 One is not sure of the wrong here, but it is clear that a wrong has been done.

Example (2)

2.0 The lecturer got up from the chair,  settled at the lectern, then he gives us a good speech.

(The past tense of the first verb " he sat" is abruptly changed to the present tense "he gives")

Correction

2.1 The lecturer got up from the chair,  settled at the lectern, then he gave us a good speech.

Example (3)

3. 0 If the council itself wants to be effective, they should get more training in real estate terminology.

(Council is at first treated as a whole and then shifted to referring to a group of individuals.)

Correction

3.1 If the council wants to be effective, it should get more training in real estate terminology.

 

RUN-ON OR FUSED SENTENCE: run on

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This phrase refers to a sentence having no punctuation between independent clauses when punctuation is required.

Example Run-on or Fused Sentence:

She passed the exam but Samantha did brilliantly.

(The subject changes from 'She' to 'Samantha' in the second independent clause)

Correction

She passed the exam, but Samantha did brilliantly.

Example (2)

The school's computer failed to function on registration day however the older forms were used and everything went as planned.

(The sentence is ambiguous because "however" could modify either of the two independent clauses.)

Correction

The school's computer failed to function on registration day; however, the older forms were used and everything went as planned.

Alternative

The school's computer failed to function on registration day. However, the older forms were used and everything went as planned.

 

WRONG WORD OR MISUSE OF A WORD:  usage

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This comment means that you have misused a word.  This is a very widespread problem but, as a student,   you are in the business of learning new terminologies--often in a variety of disciplines, so mistakes are likely.  

 

“Usage” is a somewhat contentious term.  In everyday informal language,  some linguists claim that word usage is democratic—the majority rules.  If the majority want to use “hopefully” as a short form for “we hope” then so be it,  (as in “hopefully you’ll come to the party”).  “Hopefully” is really an adverb and if you want to keep to its grammatical sense,  it means that you will come to the party in a hopeful state.  However,  academic prose and usage differs from everyday speech and the rules are more precise than usage alone.  Courses in a university exist in part to help you construct knowledge or engage in research through a set of concepts and methods specific to a discipline.  After some training, you are expected to learn the terms specific to the methods, concepts and procedures of a discipline.  Specialized terms thus express concepts and methods and,  in the academic setting, clear unambiguous use of them can strengthen your claims--you should then know the definitions of your terminology and its typical uses.   

 

In literary studies, for instance,  you are expected to know the accurate use of terms like “criticism”,  “image”, “autobiography”, “point of view”,  “romantic”, “synecdoche”,  “irony” or “public sphere”.   If there is a problem with such use, it is simple to solve:   look the term up in one of the many dictionaries of literary terms and make sure you are using it accurately.  One of the most quoted of these dictionaries in literary studies is Abrams’s,  Glossary of Literary Terms.   Most disciplines have such dictionaries.

 

Incorrect word usage can occur the specialized terminology of any discipline.   One requirement is clear:  make sure you are using specialized terms correctly Another requirement:  Ask yourself whether you need to define specialized terminology that lies outside the discipline in which you are writing,  at least minimally.  So,  if you are writing a literary paper and  have to use words like “Freudian transference” or “retrovirus” then be prepared define them.

 

 

MEANING UNCLEAR ambig  (ambiguity)

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Example 1

 

The first purpose of feminism used in romantic poetry is to raise awareness in order to promote a balance of equality. 

 

This sentence is ambiguous because of poor usage of a number of terms.  For example,  there is the use of the term “first”.  Does the student mean “first” in the sense of chronology or first in the sense of importance? Second there is the use of  the term “feminism”.   Does the student mean that feminism was used in romantic poetry (1770-1830) to raise awareness,  or does the student mean that today,  feminist criticism is so used?   Each of these has a very different meaning and would require a very different set of illustrations or proof to support the claim.  If the former,  the way the word is used also implies that poets deliberately used feminism,  applying it to ‘raise awareness’.  But could this be the case?  It sounds as if poets like Barbauld took Mary Wollstonecraft’s position and applied it like a program in order to write poetry.   Lastly,  “balance of equality” is redundant—would not  the more simple “promote equality”  be more clear?

 

Correction

 

Feminism as it appeared in romantic poems like Anna Barbauld’s  “Rights of Woman” promoted equality and raised awareness but not with the same single mindedness as did Wollstoncraft’s prose.

 

 

PASSIVE pass

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In most kinds of writing an active and direct style is more effective than an indirect style.  The overuse of the passive voice can weaken your argument because it imposes the complexity of an indirection that your reader must undo to get your meaning.

The passive is often used to affect formality.  And as Orwell has indelibly told us,  the passive voice can also be used to hide responsibility or cloud the implications of an image or argument.

However,  certain formal styles (usually scientific or government reports) do favour this indirection, thus the passive voice.  In these contexts, who is doing the report or carrying out the experiment is not so important as the report or the experiment itself.  Also, in certain situations in any text, the passive voice is a vital part of the meaning—when, for instance, you wish to focus on the agent rather than the act. In the active voice the subject is the agent, the "doer" of the action that is performed on the object or predicate; in the passive voice the subject of the sentence is the object of the action and the agent is placed in the predicate.

Examples of Active Voice

1. Jill shut the door.

2. The logging company polluted the lake.

3. Edison invented the telephone.

Examples of Passive Voice

1.1 The door was shut by Jill.

2.1 The lake was polluted by the logging company.

3.1 The telephone was invented by Edison.

None of these are wrong if you wish to focus on the agent (Jill, the logging company) rather than the act, (shutting a door, polluting a lake) but excessive use can create an impression of vagueness.  Here is a good example of obscure writing taken from  Orwell’s “Politics and the English Language”:

If a new spirit is to be infused into this old country, there is one thorny and contentious reform which must be tackled, and that is the humanization and galvanization of the B.B.C.  

(Make the first sentence active by answering the questions “Who will infuse the new spirit?”  and “Who will tackle the necessary reform?” In addition, replacing the vague general terms “humanization” and “galvanization” with a specific plan could help make the ideas clear,  and the language more effective.)

PREPOSITION: prep

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This mark usually refers to incorrect uses of idiom or colloquial expressions, or to missing prepositions.

Examples of Misused Prepositions:

(1) During the very first words of the novel, Dickens introduces us to the main character.

(Poor usage if the first sentence of the novel was meant.)

Better usage:

With the very first words of the novel . . . ."

or

"In the very first words of the novel. . . ."

(2) England is a close ally to the US

(Should be "of the US" or "closely allied to")

Unfortunately, (or fortunately) there are no hard and fast rules in idiomatic usage.

The following is acceptable idiom: "In the beginning was the word."

 

APOSTROPHE MISSING FOR POSSESSIVE CASE: apos or poss

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This note can mean that a noun used to indicate a possessive form has not been inflected with 's or s'. It can also refer to incorrect use of an apostrophe in contractions or personal pronouns.

Examples

Incorrect: The mariners glittering eye.

(Correct: The mariner's glittering eye.)

Incorrect: It's surface is studded with craters.

(Correct: Its surface is studded with craters.)

Incorrect: Its a boy!

(Correct: It's a boy!)

(These uses of "It's" and "its" may appear odd, but correct usage involves understanding the idea of contractions and the rule of not using apostrophes with possessive personal pronouns. Thus: "I thought it was hers" (not "her's"). "It's" is a contraction like "I'll" for "I will," and means "It is")

Incorrect: The Governor Generals attire....

(Correct: The Governor General's attire....)

(In a compound noun only the last noun uses the apostrophe)

Incorrect: Harry and Bert's bikes were not locked.

(Correct: Harry's and Bert's bikes were not locked.)

('Harry and Bert' is not a compound noun, but part of a compound subject.)

(Note, however, that proper names in a subject can form a compound)

(Correct: Harry and Bert's bike was not locked.)

(Harry and Bert share the bike)

Incorrect: One of Keats poems was read first.

(Correct: One of Keats's poems was read first.)

(Sometimes Keats' is found, but authorities differ)

Incorrect: The mens locker room was off-limits.

(Correct: The men's locker room was off-limits.)

(plural noun not ending in s)

(Note that "mens' " is also incorrect as "men" is the plural form.)

Correct: The lady has a hat. But one lady's hat was missing.

Correct: The two ladies' hats are on the sofa.

(plural noun ending in s)

 

FAULTY IDIOMATIC EXPRESSION idiom

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Certain collocations of words in English do not follow normal grammatical or word (lexical) usage; their meaning is often figurative and they are used to add energy and depth to a passage. Idioms are usually defined as those expressions not translatable into a foreign language, but the mark can also refer to misuses of prepositions or prepositional verbs, or to misuses of a technical vocabulary.

Some Examples of Correct Idiomatic usage:

The customer flew into in a rage.

It's raining cats and dogs.

She looked like sin.

Nutty as a fruitcake (American).

The plane will leave any minute now.

The meeting pretty well settled the question (matter).

That’ll settle his bacon (hash).

She wore dresses deliberately out of fashion.

The range of substitution in such expressions is limited. It would be awkward to say for instance "she stamped out of a rage" or "the meeting settled by the conclusion." Misuse of idiom can also be creative,  but be careful—make sure you intend the implication. Idioms also go in and out of fashion and new idioms are being constantly created.

Some Examples of Idiom in Prepositional Verbs

We must abide by Robert's Rules of Order for the meeting

According to the evidence we must judge him guilty.

He went into the night.

You cannot compare him to Eileen.

(compare to for unlike classes)

You can compare his poetry with Dante's.

(compare with for like classes)

You need to follow your line of argument to its logical conclusion.

 

FAULTY LOGIC log

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This mark can refer to a number of alignment or usage problems within a sentence that cause a problem in logic or continuity. At other times, problems with the cohesion of an entire argument may be meant by this mark; sometimes, for instance, the ideas developed over the course of an entire essay may not warrant the conclusion drawn from them; they use a faulty logic.

Examples of Faulty Logic In Sentences

1. The building is surrounded on one side by a long hedge.

(one surrounds a whole building, not one side)

Correction

1.1 The building is bordered on one side by a long hedge.

Example (2)

2. From the beginning of time humanity has been making up theories of how the universe began, but they can be sorted into two major parties.

(“Parties” refers to the non-count noun "humanity".)

Correction

2.1 From the beginning of time humans have been making up theories of how the universe began.  These theorists can be sorted into two major parties.

Example (3)

3. The Wright brothers are known as the modern inventors of the airplane.   It was a small biplane with a small motor.

("Modern inventors" is the problem--it would, in this context,  have to modify the invention not the inventor, especially in the case of powered airplanes. It could be left out entirely here. The exception would be if you had in mind comparing the Wright brothers with Da Vinci or some earlier inventor; though Da Vinci’s  plane was not flown in his time, nor did it have a motor).

Correction

3.1 The Wright brothers are known as the inventors of the modern airplane.   It was a small biplane with a small motor.

 

GENERALIZING   (overgeneralization)

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The kinds and range of evidence given do not warrant your conclusion as it is stated.  Either you have given no evidence or not enough evidence.

Examples of Faulty Logic in Argument.

1.0  As we have seen, there were three clear instances of the kind of oxymoron I have been discussing in Hamlet and Macbeth. Because we find the same figure in Pope, we can deduce quite securely that Shakespeare was a strong influence on the eighteenth century use of this rhetorical motif and was thus also a strong influence on Pope.

This is an example of overgeneralization. The kinds and range of evidence given do not warrant the conclusion stated. The student might have an interesting possibility in hand, but much more research will be required before such a wide, double conclusion could be made credible, or secure. How could you know that all of the eighteenth century was so influenced? In addition, a detailed analysis of the figures involved, support by expert testimony, use of other kinds of proof--like an exposition of Pope's reading habits and a comparison with a number of his other important influences would be required to uphold the claim about Pope.

Revision

As we have seen, the three instances of the oxymoron that I have analyzed in Hamlet and Macbeth are quite similar to those we found in The Rape of The Lock. This is not enough evidence to talk about an influence, but it does suggest an interesting possibility about how Pope might have read Shakespeare.

 

FAULTY PARALLELISM // or fp

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This mark refers to elements that do not belong in a clause that parallels a previous clause construction. The fault is sometimes a matter of style, sometimes grammatical.  

Examples of Faulty Parallelism

(1) Betty is healthy, wealthy,  wise and a scuba diver.

(the first three elements in the list are predicate adjectives, the last is a predicate noun)

Correction,   (If you wish to communicate Betty’s perfection) 

Betty is healthy, wealthy,  athletic, and wise.

 

(2) Cats are sleek, beautiful, arrogant, kill for pleasure, and do not love their owners at all times.

Correction, (If you wish to communicate that cats are distant and elitist)

Cats are sleek, beautiful, arrogant, murderous, and mildly loyal.

Sometimes a humorous effect can result from juxtapositions like the two examples above.  But make sure this is an effect you intend.  Unintended irony or humour can clash with the import you did intend, and thus the passage will not work in the way you wish it.  

Technically in (2), the first three elements in the parallel structure are predicate adjectives, but "kill for pleasure" and "do not love…." are verb structures that disrupt the predicate adjective pattern laid down at the beginning of the sentence with "are sleek."  It would be difficult to say "Cats are kill for pleasure".  Ask whether a disruption in clause pattern is useful for your overall purpose.

Long point lists often group elements that do not belong together.

2.0  The objectives of this course are to:

·        increase your critical knowledge of American Government,

·        critical assessment of the ideals of democracy,

·        underlying principles and structures.

The first clause in the list sets a pattern but the clauses that follow are not parallel or coordinate structures. Can you say “The objectives of this course are to underlying principles and structures”?   The solution is to begin each element in a point form list with the same pattern; in this case to begin each with a verb.

Correction:    The objectives of this course are to:

·        increase your critical knowledge of American Government,

·        critically assess the ideals of democracy, 

·        analyze underlying principles and structures.

 

PUNCTUATION: p

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The meanings of this symbol are numerous. Only the most frequently encountered examples of the comma, semicolon and colon are indicated.

Example of Poor Comma Usage (comma)

If you wish to write well don't use commas, which aren't necessary, be sure to use punctuation that is check end punctuation Reimer warns us that punctuation is especially important at the end of a quotation.

Both examples adapted from Lewis Thomas, "Notes on Punctuation," in The Norton Reader: An Anthology of Expository Prose, eds. Arthur M. Eastman et al., 6th ed. (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1984), p. 340.

This is a good example of the importance of punctuation. The most obvious problem is the use of the comma. The first clause, "If you wish to write well," is an introductory clause requiring a comma. The second clause is a restrictive clause that is being treated as a nonrestrictive clause. Restrictive clauses are necessary to complete the meaning of a sentence; nonrestrictive clauses provide additional, not essential, information. Nonrestrictive clauses are set off with commas; restrictive clauses do not take commas.

Correction

If you wish to write well, don't use commas which aren't necessary and be sure to use punctuation that is. Check end punctuation; Reimer warns us that "punctuation is especially important at the end of a quotation."

Example of Poor Semicolon Usage (semicolon):

It is almost always a greater pleasure to come across a semicolon than a period. The period tells you that is that,  if you didn't get all the meaning you wanted or expected, you got all the writer intended to parcel out and now you have to move along. With a semicolon you get a pleasant feeling of expectancy, there is more to come, read on, it will get clearer. Commas are likable, however sometimes semicolons are required.

In general the semicolon indicates a closer tie of meaning between clauses than a period. Use it (1) between independent clauses not joined by a coordinating conjunction, (2) between independent clauses joined by one of the conjunctive adverbs (like "however" or "therefore") or (3) if there is internal punctuation within an independent clause that has co-ordination.

Correction

It is almost always a greater pleasure to come across a semicolon than a period. The period tells you that is that; if you didn't get all the meaning you wanted or expected, you got all the writer intended to parcel out and now you have to move along. With a semicolon you get a pleasant feeling of expectancy; there is more to come; read on; it will get clearer. Commas are likable; however, sometimes semicolons are required.

Example Poor Use of Colon (colon):

Some of the endearing elements of this text are: its reasonable style, its controlled passion and its colloquial speech.

(Do not place a colon after a linking verb (all forms of 'to be'))

Generally use a colon to introduce a series; to introduce sentence elements that explain, illustrate or amplify other parts of a sentence; to introduce long, formal (that is textual vs. spoken) quotations, and after 'the following' or 'as follows'. Never use semicolons or colons to end a quotation.

Correction

Some of the endearing elements of this text are its reasonable style, its controlled passion and its use of colloquial speech.

Alternative (Academic Style)

Some of the important elements of this text are (1) its reasonable style, (2) its controlled passion, and (3) its many colloquialisms.

Example (2)

The administrator listed three possible minors for a major in this field, psychology, statistics and social medicine.

Correction

The administrator listed three possible minors for a major in this field: psychology, statistics and social medicine.


PUNCTUATION WITHIN QUOTATIONS AND PARENTHESES: p

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Example

One gets tired of shouting "Close Quotes!

Correction

One gets tired of shouting, "Close Quotes!"

For end punctuation within a quotation, periods and commas go inside the closing quotation marks; semicolons and colons go outside them. Question marks, exclamation points, and dashes can be put either outside or inside, (the decision depends on whether they apply to your whole sentence or simply to the quotation). Three spaced periods (ellipsis) indicate that some quoted material has been omitted; four spaced ellipses indicate that a sentence period has also been omitted. Quoted material within a quotation which is run into your text is enclosed in single quotes.

General Example

"The pleasure we get from reading a novel," said Demeraux, "stems . . . from a certain sense of deception"; he later added that it "resembles the feeling one has when something has been stolen." There was one important qualification: "one is happy about the robbery"!

Can we agree, though, with Mrs. Simpers when she slyly added, "I remember that Capone used to say that he 'got his kicks from being the robber, not the robbee'"?

Examples of Correct Usage

(1) Emerson replied, "There is no reason to doubt the president's statement."

(2) He has not defined "categorical imperative."

(3) Krum then said, "I have just read Hamm's new article, 'Potentiality in Prometheus Unbound.'"

(4) Forelli insisted on rewriting the paragraph. (I had encountered this intransigence on another occasion.) He had other annoying habits.

(5) The driver glanced at his rear-view mirror to observe the passenger, (the one in the derby hat).

(6) Kego had three objections to "Filmore's Summer": the action was contrived, the characters were flat, and the dialogue was unrealistic.

(7) Benjamin Franklin admonishes us to "plough deep while sluggards sleep."

But:

As Franklin advised, "Plough deep while sluggards sleep."

(In the first example, the quotation is an integral part of the essay writer's syntax and thus the first letter of the quotation must be changed to lower case; in the second example, the quotation is not run into the writer's syntax and thus the upper case letter in the original must remain and, here, a comma is required.

 

INTRODUCING EXPERT TESTIMONY: frame

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The usual practice in the academic style is to introduce secondary material in a clear, direct way so that your reader can see the sources you have used and how you have used them. Proper introduction and framing of sources is the first, important step toward showing how you are going to evaluate secondary material and integrate it with your own ideas. Properly used, framing prevents plagiarism and the use of sources as applause for your ideas.

Example of a Poor Frame

In the following paper I will be showing how "travel literature often exemplifies a search for personal as well as community identity." I will show this through a great deal of quotation and other sources.

Correction

In "Poverty of Home" (1926), Wallace Steigner thought the travel essay “often exemplifies a search for personal as well as community identity," (59). However, today, his idea is something of a cliché and does not deal with the problem of cultural appropriation.

Example of an Effective Frame (2)

In 1952 Helen Darbishire published the variants from a notebook kept by Sara Hutchinson in which she copied poems by Wordsworth and Coleridge during and after the period Wordsworth was working on "Resolution and Independence." In Miss Darbishire's succinct account we learn:

He cut out the stanza ["he seem'd like one who little saw or heard," see LG; 57-63] . . . and put in its place that stanza which is surely the imaginative core of the poem ["As a huge stone, etc.," RI; 67-70] . . . . Further he cut out from the Leechgatherer's speech his account of his family's losses, and some at least of this difficulties over the leeches.3

When it has served their argument critics have made use of the last of Miss Darbishire's discoveries, noting with considerable relief how Wordsworth had the good sense to omit "the deal is of the old man's history." No one, however, has pursued her supposition about additions to the poems. (Curtis 99)

(This example has been adapted from Jared R. Curtis, Wordsworth's Experiments with Tradition: The Lyric Poems of 1802, (Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 1971), p. 99.)

Note that the frame introduces the authority, the date, and the critical work quite some time before citations are made. In the above example you can see the care with which the material is introduced. The work as a whole by Darbishire is first explained in general terms before the quotation or specific paraphrase is given. The date can be important but sometimes not. If your "Works Cited" contains the work's title, the name of the author is often sufficient in brief references after the first reference. When lengthy quotation is given, the details of the quotation should be referred to and commented on extensively both before and after the citation. In the excerpt above, the frame continues after the quotation adding effective and insightful commentary about the quoted material. Note also that '[]' square brackets can be used to include commentary within a quotation supplied by you to explain or make clear an obscure reference.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT: ack or source

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This is a complex matter primarily because there are so many different types of texts that can be integrated into an essay and so many different conditions within an essay in which documentation is necessary. The common problems are (a) forgetting to document a source (b) mixing of two systems of documentation, (c) misalignment of the sense, grammar or punctuation of quoted material with the sense, grammar or punctuation of your sentence, (d) finding the line between obvious information that is common knowledge and information that is the result of specialized research.

The following deals with some typical conditions requiring citation of sources.

Example of an Absent Source

During the period surveyed, (1758-1800) the usual number of presses quoted is 75; but the exact figure is 104. Thus we can imagine that the publishing world Schwarz survived in must have been highly competitive.

In a student paper, documentation would probably be required after "104" either as a footnote number or a parenthetical reference (Major 44) This would not be the case only if the writer was claiming that he or she did the research and had found and counted the presses.

Example of Misused Source in Opening Paragraph

In this paper I will be discussing a number of aspects of the revolution in France and its relation to literature. The French Revolution was one of the most important events influencing the romantic period in England. The hopes for utopia were high at the beginning when de Mirabeau defied the royal will and the Third Estate established itself as a National Assembly (1789). But with Robespierre, Danton and the Reign of Terror (1792), Godwin and the English Liberals were hard pressed to maintain their full, enthusiastic support.

Here two things are required: (1) a frame sentence like "As Pershall reminds us in English Liberalism. . . . ," at the beginning of this paragraph; then (2) a page reference following the quotation, (198). These are required because the claims and facts in the text go beyond reference to common knowledge about the French Revolution and indicate an authoritative source. The quoted material is too close to the vocabulary, syntax and thought of the original source in Pershall's work to be left without a citation. As it stands, the paragraph claims this information as the writer's own knowledge, or the results of primary research.

Sometimes, however, use of the full frame of author and title before the quotation is a matter of judgment, and is usually not necessary after a frame is already in place--though documentation of the quotation is necessary, and the frame would be maintained with "Pershall notes," or "Pershall continues" or "As Pershall's research indicates" etc.

Sometimes the reference can be expressed as a paraphrase with a reference afterward (Pershall 198)--with the full citation following in the "Works Cited" page.

Documentation and framing are not necessary for information that is common knowledge, (e.g. that Pierre Trudeau was the PM in 1970, or that Abraham Lincoln was the president of the United States during the American Civil War).

DOCUMENTATION: DOC

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MLA Parenthetical Style (Name-Page method)

The MLA has revised its system to include the use of parenthetical references. Foot- or end-notes can also be used in this style but they are kept to a minimum and are used for comments, translation, definitions or explanatory material secondary to your topic. If used, the endnotes page is called "Notes" and a "Works Cited" page is required rather than an "Bibliography." As with the traditional "Bibliography," the "Works Cited" page uses a hanging indent and is in alphabetical order.

Example

We have, then, shown the important personal condition leading to this "reflection on cosmic uncertainty," (Grenge 204). But we must recognize...

Note that "p." and "pp." are not used. If you refer to consecutive pages, join them with a hyphen (Grenge 12-21). Following notes referring to the same author--with no intervening notes referring to other works--is shortened to "(65)".

Example

(1) Another author with the same last name:

(Arthur Grenge 45)

(2) A work with two or three authors:

(Grenge, Aloe and James Barstrom 44)

(3) A work with more than three authors:

(Grenge et al. 24-67)

(4) Reference to the whole work:

(Grenge)

(5) More than one work by the same author in "Works Cited":

(Grenge, Hollywood 14-19)

(6) Poetry--first reference establishes author & line:

(Williams, line 4)

(7) Poetry--second ref., uses line number(s) only:

(12-13)

(8) Play--act, scene, and line separated by periods:

(3.1.56-89)

(Used after play title has been established in frame.)

(9) Bible--book, chapter, verse sep., by periods:

(Gen. 1.28)

(10) Anthology--author's name and page number

(Didion 45)

(but the "Works Cited" page gives the full anthology information.)

(11) The "Works Cited" page takes the following form:

Works Cited

Grenge, Bernard. Schwarz World. New York: Reese Press, 1981.

 

The traditional MLA system of footnote documentation is yet in practice and is preferred by some instructors. However, the MLA parenthetical system is also now becoming widely accepted. It is best to consult your instructor to find which system is acceptable.

Modern Language Association (MLA) (traditional)

We have, then, shown the important personal condition leading to what Grenge calls "a reflection on cosmic uncertainty."1 But we must recognize...

(the note number is superscripted one-half line height in the text and in the footnote)

_______________

1Bernard Grenge, Schwarz World (New York: Reese Press, 1981), p. 204.

This is the standard MLA footnote style for a book by a single author. This first footnote should be written out in full. It could also go on its own separate page which has the title Notes (no quotation marks or underlining). This is placed at the end of the paper before the bibliography page; it is then called an 'end-note' rather than a 'footnote.' In both cases, the form of the first line of the note is indented (no other lines in the reference are indented) and the note number is in superscript. Note that the form of the foot- or end-note is not the same as a bibliographical entry.

MLA Examples

(1) A first note with subsequent references to the same work to follow:

1Bernard Grenge, Schwarz World (New York: Reese Press,

1981), p. 204. All subsequent references to this text will

appear in the body of the essay.

(2) Brief form: After this first note, the work can be referred to by page number in your text directly after the quotation:

". . . 'The way things were' was no longer acceptable" (p. 59).

(3) Ibid., is sometimes used as a brief form in notes.

            “Ibid., p. 150”

(Ibid. is short or ibidem Latin for "in the same place") When there are intervening quotations from another work, refer back to a previous work with the author's name and page number,

"Carson, p. 143."

(4) A work with two or three authors:

Bernard Grenge and George Barstrom,

(5) A work with more than three authors:

Bernard Grenge et al.,

(6) An author and an editor:

Thomas de Quincey, Recollections of the Lake Poets, ed. David

Wright (1970; rpt. Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1978), pp. 135-37.

(7) An anthology:

David Perkins ed., English Romantic Writers, (San Diego:

Harcourt, 1967), pp. 12-68.

(8) Poetry--usually no foot- or end-note is required; use line numbers or Sections (Books, Cantos, Division numbers) & lines in your text:

In America: A Prophecy, Blake lays strong emphasis on this kind of perception, "Thou art the image of God who dwells in darkness of Africa / And thou art fall'n to give me life in regions of dark death" (Preludium: 27-28).

(9) Play--author, play, act, scene and line(s):

Shakespeare, Hamlet I.i.10-15.

(10) Bible--book, chapter, verse:

Matthew 10:3.

(11) The MLA traditional, bibliographical entry takes the following form:

Bibliography

Grenge, Bernard. Schwarz World. New York: Reese Press, 1981.

(Note the double-space after periods and colons.)

 

ELECTRONIC SOURCES  esources

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Sources found on the internet are sometimes reliable,  but they are often not reliable   You are being trained in ways to evaluate your sources, and you should be very careful with internet sites.   First rule:  a university or publication site will likely be more reliable than a privately maintained site.

For changeable electronic sources, use this format:

 

Author's name. Full title (articles in quotation marks, books italicized). Title of any larger document of which it is a part. Date of publication or most recent revision, date accessed, and the full URL address enclosed in angle brackets (< >). Here are two examples:

Ford, Andrew. "The Electronic Beowulf.: From Early Anglo-Saxon Text to Hypertext." Electronic
          Proceedings of "The Second World-Wide Web Conference '94: Mosaic and the Web.
          <http//archive.ncsa.uiuc.edu/SDG/IT94/Proceedings/Arts/ford/beowulfpaper.html>

Harnack, Andrew, and Gene Kleppinger. "Beyond the MLA Handbook: Documenting Electronic Sources
      on the Internet." Kairos 1.2 (1996). 10 Oct 1996. <http://english.ttu.edu/kairos/1.2>

CD-ROMs and other portable sources:

For unchangeable electronic sources, the citation in the "Works Cited" list includes the author, title, and date information, just as for print documents. After the title of the database, there is a period, followed by the producer's name and date of the product, if available. Finally, include the date you accessed the information.

Kiernan, Kevin, Ed. The Electronic Beowulf. British Library Publications and U of Michigan P. 2000.
      July 2002.

 

(The preceding is based on the SFU Dept. of English Style Sheet)

 

ACCURACY OF QUOTATION: Q or quotation

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Generally the rule states that sources enclosed in double quotations, or blocked out in your text, mark a verbatim (word for word) transcription. The block style is used for quotations of more than fifty words or if you want the text to receive special notice. It can be single spaced, though double spacing is also acceptable. Explanatory material can be added within a quotation, but it must be enclosed in square brackets--not parentheses. This mark generally refers to inaccurate or poorly laid out quotations.

Example

(The numbers in the following refer to typed spaces.)

<5>White's skillful shading of traditional narrative in the Solid Mandala into an inner monologue can be seen clearly whenever Waldo is described.

<10>

They were proud of Waldo though, especially when he jumped up, in his just buttonable knickerbockers, to offer a plate of scones without being prodded. Strangers compared him with potty Arthur, who would have scoffed the lot. Big lump of a thing sitting on a creaking stool, knees under his chin, crumbs tumbling down his chin onto his knees. (75)

(1.5 line spaces above and below)

The narrator's audience has clearly changed by the time we have reached the description of Waldo as a "big lump."

Example Short Poem

In "It Is a Beauteous Evening" we can see the same paradoxical merging of time and space. In this line, there is again a tranquil mood. "The gentleness of heaven broods o'er the sea"; and we are admonished to listen because "the mighty Being is awake, / And doth with his eternal motion make / A sound like thunder-- everlastingly." An "everlasting sound" is an oxymoron of the same type as "spots of time."

Note that virgules--slashes--have been used to mark line breaks and that the titles of short poems are enclosed in double quotation marks. Titles of longer poems are underlined. No line numbers are required in a short poem.

Example Long Poem

We come across the "glittering eye" again quite soon after the appearance of the ghost ship. In Part 4, though, the Wedding Guest's attitude has changed from annoyance to a reaction to a riveting mystery; the Mariner has become someone to be feared:

"I fear thee, ancient Mariner!

I fear thy skinny hand!

And thou art long, and lank, and brown

As is the ribbed sea-sand.

I fear thee and thy glittering eye,

And thy skinny hand, so brown."- -

Fear not, fear not, thou Wedding- Guest!

This body dropped not down. (224-231)

Because all of our experiences of sight have so far been negative, the mariner's "glittering eye" now has connotations of evil; perhaps it is an evil eye. To the wedding guest, the mariner seems to have risen from a grave.

In MLA parenthetical, for first reference use (Coleridge 4.224-231). Use the line numbers as in the example above only if the poem and canto, part or book, have been already established-- both after the last line.

 

REDUNDANT redundant

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The unnecessary repetition of a word or a close relative--or wordiness, or sometimes the unaware doubling of a concept in an expression—often a synonym has been used though there is no reason to use it.

Some examples

The tree bark,  the exterior surface of the tree, was not in good shape.

            (the clause adds nothing new to the meaning)

In my opinion,  I think the action was wrong.

(‘your thought”  was already expressed in ‘in my opinion’)

The author Daniel Seaforth in the article “Seeming as Place” in 1989,  …..

            (we know Seaforth was the author)

Some well known redundancies from Messenger and De Bruyn’s The Canadian Writer’s Handbook 2nd edition,  p. 318:

Advance planning

But nevertheless

More preferable

Other alternative

Character trait

Climb up

Close scrutiny

Consensus of opinion

Continue on

Contributing factor

 

CONTINUITY OF DEVELOPMENT: transition (or continuity)

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Lack of attention to transitions between sentences and between paragraphs can, at its mildest, mean a choppy style and, at its worst, lack of structural coherence in your essay.  To help ensure continuity first check the logical development of your ideas and that you have met the formal expectations of your paper; on a smaller scale, effective repetition, parallel structures, pronoun reference, and use of key words and their synonyms are the organic ways of ensuring continuity.

Example of choppy style caused by poor transitions:

Energy overthrows repressive reason, and in the "The Tyger" the forests are those of Urizen where the Tyger rises in revolt to flee the "distant deeps" from where it was created. In Blake's time the ideals embodied within the movement of the French Revolution also influenced his prophetic writings. The Tyger rises to meet mankind and the "sinews of revolt are knotted into existence."

Revision

As we have seen in The Marriage of Heaven And Hell, energy can overthrow reason. In that revolutionary document, a key idea was the liberation of humanity from oppressive institutions like the established church and marriage. The Tyger flashes with a similar potential: the overthrowing of Urizen's repressive rule. We also know that Blake at this period thought well of the ideals of the French Revolution, and thus the fiery Tyger is a precursor to the Orc figure who will appear in "America: A Prophecy." The Tyger, then, rises to help mankind overthrow tyranny and knot the  "sinews of revolt . . .  into existence."(10)

Note the use of "energy" and its close correlate "fire" to form a continuous development of the notion of revolt. Also note the number of references to previous ideas and the use of the transitional terms (italicized) "that," "thus," "also," and "then".

List of Transitional Terms:

(1) Addition:

and, also, besides, moreover, another, in addition, further

(2) Similarity:

similarly, likewise, equally, in other words, in the same way, again

(3) Differences:

but, yet, however, nevertheless, despite, in spite of, on the other hand, still, though, although, even though, whereas, on the contrary, in contrast, otherwise, conversely

(4) Cause & Effect & Logical Relation:

because, for, since, as a result, consequently, therefore, then, thus, of course, hence

(5) Example & Illustration:

for example, for instance, namely, to illustrate, that is, in particular, specifically

(6) Emphasis:

especially, mainly, primarily, chiefly, indeed, more important

(7) Time:

at the same time, simultaneously, while, meanwhile, later, earlier, subsequently, then, before, behind, nearby, in the distance, farther away, to the left, here, there, next.

 

REFERENCE PAGE: biblio

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The Bibliography or Works Cited page is an important way of showing where you got the evidence for your claims.  It should contain all works you cite or paraphrase.  It should be alphabetized with a hanging indent on the second and any succeeding lines. It has a different format than a footnote:  generally, first name last, periods between sections,  articles from periodicals use page numbers but not books. 

Works Cited*

A Manual of Style for Authors, Editors and Copywriters. 12th ed., rev.  Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1969. 

 

Bell, James B., and Edward P.J. Corbett. The Little English Handbook for Canadians. 2nd ed. Toronto: John Wiley & Sons Canada  Limited, 1982.

 

Edward A. Dornan and Charles W. Dawe. The Brief English Handbook, 3d. ed. Scott, Foresman/Little, 1990.

 

Heffernan, James A. W., and John E. Lincoln. Writing: A College Handbook. New York: Norton, 1982.

 

Thomas, Lewis. "Notes on Punctuation." The Norton Reader: An Anthology of Expository Prose. Eds. Arthur M. Eastman et al. 6th

ed. New York: Norton, 1984, pp. 339-41.

 

William E. Messenger and J. De Bruyn, The Canadian Writer's  Handbook. 2nd ed. Scarborough: Prentice Hall Canada Inc., 1986.

 

 

Works Consulted*

 

Giltrow, Janet. Academic Writing: How To Read and Write Scholarly  Prose. Peterborough: Broadview Press, 1990.

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*'Works Cited' could be 'Bibliography' in MLA traditional.

*'Works Consulted' is for works on your topic that you have read but not explicitly cited in your text.

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