Saying 'yes' to consent culture at SFU

As we begin the school year, SFU students are meeting new classmates, reconnecting with friends and even kickstarting relationships. Setting and expressing healthy boundaries can be awkward and sometimes even overwhelming, but SFU is here to support.

Starting September 20th, SFU's Sexual Violence Support and Prevention Office (SVSPO) is hosting its annual Consent Matters campaign. And bringing her unique perspective to the discussion around consent is co-op student Alyssa Victorino.

A third-year psychology student with a sociology minor and a certificate in social justice, Victorino is completing a co-op placement with the SVSPO as a program assistant.

When asked what brought her to this work, Victorino explains, "I am really drawn to the world of social justice, and I wanted to find a place where I could explore a specific sector of that. Last year, I thought about trying co-op and lo and behold, this is exactly where I want to be."

Let's talk about consent

A central part of Victorino's role is to support the upcoming Consent Matterscampaign. But what is consent, anyway?

"When it comes to sexual consent, consent is an ongoing, informed and voluntary agreement to sexual activity," says Victorino. "But the Consent Matters campaign goes beyond that. It sees consent as an overarching element in all social interactions. It's a way to honour your boundaries and respect other people’s needs."

And while some may perceive consent as a quick, static conversation, Victorino aspires to show students that there’s more to it.

"It's not just asking the question," she says. "It's making sure that you're listening to what someone says and respecting the answer. There's a follow-through. You're not just asking the question and checking the box."

Take partying, for example. Have you ever felt pressured to drink in order to fit in? Wouldn't it be nice if a friend asked beforehand if you were comfortable with drinking, so that if you'd rather pass but you'd still like to tag along, non-alcoholic accommodations can be made for you? Not only asking about someone's boundaries—but respecting and acting on them—can go a long way.

Right about now, you might be thinking: Wouldn't asking about someone else's boundaries be awkward? Doesn’t asking for consent kill the mood?

"Part of consent culture is to normalize that awkwardness," says Victorino. "We need to make this part of our everyday lives."

To strengthen this response, Victorino hopes that educating the university community on consent—what it is and what it looks like—can be the first step in creating a culture of consent at SFU. Luckily, this year's Consent Matters campaign (featuring a special event open to all students) is here to help.

Consent Matters 2021

From September 20-24, the SVSPO is hosting its annual Consent Matters campaign with a focus on setting and respecting personal boundaries. This year’s theme is, "Learn to hear no. It is okay to say no."

Imagine if someone asked to kiss you after a first date. Would you feel bad saying "no?" On the flip side, how would you respond to being rejected? This year's campaign looks to navigate this dynamic.

The goal is to "round out the process of consent," says Victorino. Saying "no"—whether to a hug, a kiss, or alcohol at a party—recognizes that it takes courage to voice your boundaries. On the other hand, hearing and respecting someone else’s "no" is understanding that they feel safe enough to communicate their needs with you. (To learn more about the ins and outs of consent, visit Victorino's blog post.)

Reflecting on her co-op placement with the SVSPO and the work she’s done to support Consent Matters, such as drafting student-centred campaign messaging, posters, social media posts, and promotional materials for the keynote event, Victorino is filled with gratitude.

"I feel like I became a better person through this work," she says. "I learned a lot about my own needs, how to communicate them, and asking about other people's comfort levels."

She adds, "Going forward with all of these learnings in my backpack, I truly want to embody a culture of consent and care—not just on campus, but everywhere that I go."

Follow along with Consent Matters and keep up-to-date with the Sexual Violence Support and Prevention Office through Facebook and Instagram or by signing up for the SVSPO newsletter. On Sept. 23, join the SVSPO and sex and emotional literacy educator, Karen B.K. Chan, for a conversation on setting boundaries.

If you have been impacted by sexual violence, the SVSPO can help. Learn more about the resources available to you.